Sunday, July 29, 2007
I'm damn bored now, I wanna say everything out but I'm keeping in. I'm seriously fed up with everything.
Somehow I wished I didn't fight with my bro , though it wasn't my fault, I would have been talking to him the next day but because he spat at me , that made me feel lower than anything. Sometimes I feel like a burden to this family, I hate it.Its always my fault, cause he's the oldest and you all love him most.Farhan notices that too.
Somehow I don't trust anyone anymore,my best friend just blamed me for everything ? Who would meet someone at 5 in the morning ? Tell me ? You make me sound like I'm the bad one. You're the only one who actually understands me and knows me the most. When your father scolded me , you didn't even hesitate . I also do have feelings . You think the scolding from my mum isn't enough ?
Is this friendship ?
I wanna meet karina , she'll brighten my day (: or maybe shakyna ((: Someone bring joy to my life, I'm seriously living in darkness.
FUCK FUCK FUCK , omg I think I need to smoke. just got the urge. Ha bye
the memories have shattered 10:15 PM
Saturday, July 28, 2007
FUCK! Everything is screwed! I can't take it anymore, My oral screwed,My mum doesn't trust me anymore, All the blame is to me , I mean all . You don't wanna get the scolding then you blame it on me.Urgh!
fuck. I'm not going out anymore, I'm gonna vow to myself, Seriously I don't feel like seeing anyone right now.Its hard to trust anyone now.
No more going out unless with school people, Gonna study already.
target for CA
ENGLISH - B3
MATHS - A1
AMATHS - A1
COMB HUMANS - B4
COMB SCIENCE - B3/B4
MALAY - B4
LIT - C5 (?)
I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO .argh. HELP !
the memories have shattered 4:18 PM
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I really can't take it, today was alright but I think I'm still dwelling in the past.
School was boring except Amaths. Sherllie was retarded. After amaths Sherllie and gang started taking pictures of me , like every second they took one. I was running away , I had to be modest you know.
Left school at about 1.50. No one was in class anyway. Mum picked me up then bathed and headed to kallng to meet Leo and friend.Sent them to kallang Kfc , stupid people didn't trust my directions. I proved you wrong in the end (: .
Leo left for work.Felt really sad.Kept thinking of the past , I really thought I had moved on , but I guess not.When we shook our hands goodbye,my heart sanked.Tears almost filled my eyes.Will I see you again after goodbye? Remember the last time when we parted our way back , we couldn't bear to leave but now just a handshake and goodbye.
Somehow I know you would never come back and I'm sure you're much happier without me.
I'm sorry I didn't go netball today,I'm really sorry, I know competition is coming but it's not everyday I get to see him.The last time I saw him was 4months ago.Just wished you understand. You seem angry or rather pissed with me.I'm sorry.
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep
Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep
the memories have shattered 8:37 PM
Sunday, July 15, 2007
WOO , I've got a sudden urge to post, no idea why.
lets post about my day first before this post gets more exciting !
Went to lim's house to show my face to her mum , if you're wondering why . here's how to story goes......
Long long ago , actually a few years ago , I used to always wear black , everything black like black freak ? I never actually wore anything bright at that time. I thought black was like so COOOLXSZSXZ! If you know me , you know me and charm are like BFFs , So we go to each others house often . One day , Charmain's mum told her that I look very dull cause i wear dull coloured clothes and charmain just had to bring down my self-esteem by telling me. All this while I thought I looked so nice.
So today when I went to her house guess what I wore , I wore striking red tappered pants and a bright yellow top ! I thought it matched quite well , I didn't look like a clown , just a little more attention from public , who wouldn't look at someone wearing bright yellow and red ? I know you would too ((:
ME : I came all the way here to show your mum I ain't dull anymore !
Charm : I think she loves you alot now !
okay so after lim's house , we went to tampines mall to meet Shakyna and Endika wanted to watch Harry Potter but decided to watch it some other time.
Anyway I heard Harry Potter was a let down . Awwww . I think Joshua Msn nick is cute,"Potter let me down".
Lim wanted to eat , so we headed to macs and ate there . Lim helped Shak pierce her lips . I did the most important part. I put in the stud ! YAY ME !
Shak's hollow pin was too thin so could fit inside , so had to take the hollow pin out first then put the stud but by the time the hole inside closed a little , so I poked the stud in (: now you see how important I am (:
Anyway , Since all of you are my lovely readers , I'm gonna tell you my deepest darkest secret (: I'm in love ! I can't stop looking at him ! but the sad part I can't have him . curious to know who is he ?
itssss .....
W910i . hahaha . IM SO GONNA BUY IT !!
If you love me to the extend you wanna buy it for me , you're welcome (: haha.
I think I'm freaking high! okay , thats about all , goodnight lovelys
LOVES;
the memories have shattered 11:00 PM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I'm kinda bored right now , oh i finally remembered to put Caiyun's song in my phone (: I don't need to runaway from her anymore . I'm gonna sleep real soon , getting tired by the minute .
School was boring today , slept more than half of maths lesson, Her voice is too soft and soothing , can't pay attention , don't blame me .
Oh malay was suprisingly fun, I actually only enjoyed Hafiz presentation , was kinda interesting. Who would ever think someone like Hafiz could do Silat and is he not bad actually.I'm impressed.
After school , parkway for lunch followed daidi with MANGFEN(thats how mrs R calles her) funny eh ? Charmain joined us later on , went around parkway then home .
Just came back from grandma's house.OMG my niece(?) ,I feel old; is so freaking cute ! she's gonna be a supermodel I tell you!Wait and see! BEAU-TI-FUL!
alright gonna crash real soon, goodbye lovelys (:
Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks
To see my face everywhere
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew
Exactly what you would do
And don't say
You simply lost your way
They may believe you
But I never will
I never will
I never will
Never again
the memories have shattered 11:19 PM
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Alright I'm posting for manfen (be honoured) , If I don't , she doesn't want to come to my blog anymore , evil right, everyone go scold her now!
alright , so today charmain tried to play hide and seek with me , she left the house at 3.54 and reached my house at 5++ .omg i feel like killing her , it takes maximum 20minutes to reach . So like every good friend , I started to panic . Oh and if you say just call her handphone lah. The most irritating part is she doesn't have one.
So once she reached , my family(mum and dad) started scolding her . so funny . but not in a harsh way . Damn funny. nvm i forgive you , since you brought doughnuts for me (((: woo they were nice .
Then we took bus 13 and headed to Junction 8, it is like so far. Me and Charmain were changing places so our butt wont be so hot.
Once we reached went to supermarket to buy 3bottles of water for Patrick then tried to find our way to his school , but couldn't find.So me and Lim took cab there and guess what it was so freaking near . The cab cost us like 4.70 (addition$2 because it was after 5)
anyway , when we reached Lim wanted to go toilet , so Patrick brought us to one of them . looked damn scary . like got some dark stairs down . Freaky!!
We were still early , so we couldn't go in the hall , me and charm were outside the hall sweating like mad ! damn hot !
Once we got in me and lim were like super happy , like never feel cold air before.
The concert started , First item was the dance! wahhh the boy so cute . dance damn nice. patrick solo was the third item . I think it was great (: you didn't screw up , really you didn't.
After all the solo's , there was the intrumental followed by the bands . I liked the band "decided". nice! the guy could sing.
Then some other non-competetive bands played they were nice too . Me and lim wanted to mosh but they guys moshing in front were like super rough , we wouldnt come out alive , I'm sure.
Then was the results , patrick didn't win =( , Nvm you tried your best . Don't worry alright . you didn't let anyone down . you did great (:
Oh yea ! and i hate their school it is like super rich . just for having a different colour chair they gave away a canon camera . LIKE WTF ??!
so irritated ! omg ! i want the cam !
anyway, after the show , it ended about 10.45 . while waiting for Patrick to get his stuff , me and charm were like laughing like mad. really look like drunk idiots . Patrick came to us without his stuff , we were like where are your stuff ? then he said his parents took them .
He went with us to bishan then wanted to take 13 together (: . but his mum wanted to pick him up . Lim bought cup noodles and ate them in the bus . damn retarded . took the last bus home . reached home at about 12.30am
patrick don't be sad alright , you sound super duper emo and weird . BOBO your head lah !
alright , think i'm going out with shak now or maybe not ? i'll post soon , come back soon alright ?
lets save the earth and wear green ! wooo . i love green (sorry random)
GOODBYE LOVELYS (:
the memories have shattered 2:02 AM
Monday, July 02, 2007
OMG! It has been like ages since I last posted.I'm sorry.I guess was too busy during the holidays and maybe didn't not have the mood to blog ?
So , school has started , as usual school - parkway - home - sleep . hopefully I'm gonna change my routine to school - home - study - sleep.
I guess I seriously need to mug, like starting from now, I always tell myself this , but I end up going out practically everyday ? It's so irritating , I can't study! someone help ? I think I have a problem.
went out with mum today , she was mad at me for reaching late and threatened me by saying "I'm going home now". I'm like half way there (thats what I told her) but I actually just boarded the bus.
Went to meet mum at Tangs, I bought sunglasses ! wooo! Mum and I liked one pair which was damn retro but the price was too nice too , $139?! for god sake , can singapore sell nice cheap stuff ?
Walked to Zara , bought a pair of 3quats, quite reasonable , $39.90 . but still isn't cheap .Sorry i've been on a serious budget. Me , Mita , Shak and Manfen have been so budget to the extend that we buy 60cents beehoon for recess and for the drink we bring our own waterbottle, imagine it's damn budget.
I'm listening to rascal flatts - feels like today
this song reminds me of today , I guess it's a special day for someone close to me (:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEO.
you're 16 already, now you can bring me to NC16 movies (: haha . I'm sorry I can't spend your special day with you.Distance is in our way. I'm sorry it ended up this way.I missed you too. anyway,Enjoy your day(:
"I did" isn't an illusion,But only a truth I lived.
"I do" isn't a choice,But only a need I bear.
"I will" isn't a promise,But only a belief I harbor.
Yet, I surely did,As surely I do . . .Love you.
LOVES;
the memories have shattered 9:31 PM
